MAN BORN WITH PIGS FACE CAN USE HIS BRAIN ONLY ONCE A YEAR

Something I noticed while I was looking back through some reference and inspo images is that the majority of the art/photography I save here has mostly de-saturated blues and greens, soft greys, and little hints of salmony pinks. If I look at the art I make, I use mostly oranges and I’m a big fan on BRIGHT reds. Maybe should think about making some art with this kind of palette instead. I really like the greyish blues. Also, on that note, in a lot of the rock reference pics I look at the rocks are mostly terracotta orange, but then the shadows are all blue grey, and because I’m a fool who never uses references images, I’ve always painted them BROWN!! Silly! Going to explore more colours, also start actually using my eyeballs and engaging at least one of my brain cells and use a reference photo for once in my godforsaken life.

Not a great quality photo but this is what I mean about the blue grey shadows, I didn’t notice how good these two colours look together. ALSO that purple mist… That’s some good shit right there.

Ok so just out of curiosity I’m looking at my pinterest board for colour palettes and I’m seeing a lot more vibrant blues, and the warm colours are more oranges and terracottas rather than pinks. Not sure what to make of that. Will have to start using both of these colour palettes and seeing what I can do with them. I think maybe the top set of colours, the softer ones, might not work as well in my work. I know I’ve been harping on a lot about realism but I don’t want my colours to get too neutral or it might seem a bit too bleak.

So like, out of further curiosity I had a look at some of the work I’ve posted on instagram to see what colours I use a lot of, and I think I DO use a lot of cloudy blues against bright oranges and reds. However there are a lot of yellows in my pinterest board, and I don’t think I really tend to actually use yellow all that much. Again, not sure what to make of this, just think it’s interesting looking at the colours I’m attracted to, the colours I deliberately seek out, and the colours I actually use. Should be more conscious of the colours I’m using which should REALLY GO WITHOUT SAYING BUT CLEARLY I’M A FOOL DRESSED IN MAN’S SHOES. Perhaps it’s time for a yellow period.

UPDATE ON THE REALISM SITUATION

I DON’T LIKE DOING IT

He Has A Cane – He Doesn’t Need It But He Likes The Way It Looks

Right ok I’m making a plan of action for the next term because I have no idea what I’m doing and I think what I want to do is work on my technical skills a little because I feel like I can’t quite create the in depth world that I’m aiming for without having a better understanding of depth and shading. I’m not particularly good at realism and I think maybe it’s holding me back a bit so I want to spend a bit of time painting from references and maybe also painting directly over photos to get my shading and colouring just right. I like the stuff that I’m making right now but I think that maybe it’s slightly too simplistic to be able to be fully invested in it. It didn’t used to matter to me so much that my paintings weren’t that realistic, it kind of worked in my favour because I wanted it to look as if it were another planet, and at the time I was very into 70s sci-fi art so I was experimenting with alien imagery, but recently I’ve been far more interested in red rocks and canyons and such so I think I’d benefit from teaching myself how to ACTUALLY PAINT FOR ONCE.

I was watching this video and I was super impressed with the amount of depth in each painting, particularly the red rock ones and I think that’s what my paintings are particularly lacking in. I think that it’s kind of hard to really properly feel a landscape if there’s not enough depth, you know, it won’t feel real enough and I’ve never really wanted realism before but idk I’m just feeling it.
I’m not planning to go full realism for any amount of time but just as a starting point before I start exploring any of my new ideas I want to learn some technical skills. So I can do my new ideas justice lol

i actually want no pity, thank you

Twin Fantasy – Car Seat Headrest

“I remember you,
You had a body,
You had hands and arms and legs and et cetera.
“Call it black star, call it pain star” – repetition of ideas, gives the impression that he really cares about what he’s singing which I think is maybe another reason I identify so much with it. A lot of the ideas he repeats don’t necessarily make sense to anyone else but him.
“The concept of the Pain Star originates from a dream that a friend of Toledo and Wurtz had. A Pain Star only comes once every several thousand years, and when you touch it, you feel unfathomable pain all throughout your body, but only for a split second.”
Without this explanation the pain star means nothing. I think Will writes for himself first, and the audience second.
Common themes are religion (god gets referenced a lot, and bible verses), otherworldly abstract ideas (pain star, not enough to love the unreal, inseperable from the impossible) and humans and physical bodies (you had hands and arms and legs, we wanted to be humans) he speak about humans and their bodies as if he is outside of it, as if he himself if not human.
“The final terror is in your house somewhere” – As referenced later in the song, Will’s lover suffers from mental issues. These lyrics introduce this problem as “The final terror”. The references to mental illness are conveyed by the lines “in your house somewhere” (the house symbolising the lover himself)
When Will says “A pain star has entered your house” the word house could be being used in the same way, to represent the body.
“I am a good person. I am a powerful person. I don’t believe in evil. I think that evil is an idea created by others to avoid dealing with their own nature. I understand my own nature. Good and evil have nothing to do with it. I understand myself. I control myself. I control everything within myself. My domain is my domain. I can lie on my back and affect the lives of those I love without moving a finger. But I would only affect them in good ways. I don’t waste time on evil. I’m a good person…
…A pain star has entered your house, but what are you going to do about it? Are you going to touch it? It only once happens every thousand years, maybe even two thousand years.”
You’re most susceptible to evil when you don’t think you’re capable of it – From and interview with Will. I think a lot of his lyrics is him addressing and referencing a lot of his own harmful ideas/toxic coping mechanisms. I feel like he knows his attitudes are sometimes negative, and I love that he doesn’t shy away from that or make himself look like a good person. There’s a lot of self awareness and honesty.
There were signs on the road that warned me of stop signs
The speed limit kept decreasing by ten
It was almost raining at the train station
We put our hoods on our heads at the train station…
I pretended I was drunk when I came out to my friends
I never came out to my friends
We were all on Skype
And I laughed and I changed the subject
She said, “what’s with this dog motif?”
I said “do you have something against dogs?”
Get more groceries get eaten
By the ones you love
What should I do? (Eat breakfast)
What should I do? (Eat lunch)
What should I do? (Eat dinner)
What should I do? (Go to bed)
Where can I go? (Go to the store)
Where can I go? (Apply for jobs)
Where can I go? (Go to a friend’s)
Where can I go? (Go to bed)
////It should be called anti-depression
As a friend of mine suggested
Because it’s not the sadness that hurts you
It’s the brain’s reaction against it//// – I just really like this lyric, quite comforting, there’s not something wrong with you, the pain comes from your brain’s effort to fight against it. Maybe there’s something comforting about joint pain. Having someone else to wallow with. I also get this feeling with Sober To Death – “You can text me when punching mattresses gets old, what if it’ll always be this way, not comforted by anything I say, we were wrecks before we crashed into eachother.”
///////////
I am almost completely soulless
I am incapable of being human
I am incapable of being inhuman
I am living uncontrollably
It’s not enough to love the unreal
I am inseparable from the impossible
I want gravity to stop for me
My soul yearns for a fugitive from the laws of nature
////////////
“And it was my favorite scene
I couldn’t tell you what it means
But it meant something to me” – I think the idea of understanding that you don’t understand is really important in my work, so naturally when this line was added in the 2018 rerecorded version I absolutely lost my shit because not only does this song put into words everything I’ve ever felt in my life, Will added a line that puts into words everything I love about this album.
He’s not afraid to look small and pathetic and afraid. I think he reflects this in the way he sings as well, the thing that particularly drew me to Car Seat Headrest in the first place was how raw his singing voice is, his voice cracks and warbles and he wails a lot and it makes him look like a blubbering weenie and I LOVE IT. Twin Fantasy is the most unfliltered album I’ve listened to, lyrically, musically, and vocally.
“But I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die
I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die
I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die
I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die
And I said hell is the sun
Burning forever at the centre of things
A ball on fire at the centre of things
A ball on fire at the centre of things
A brain on fire at the centre of things
A brain on fire at the centre of things…” – Toledo introduces hellish undertones when he insists “hell is the sun.” From this, “a ball on fire” symbolises the Judeo-Christian idea of hell. In a final metaphor, Toledo compares the sun to the brain, and more deeply, hell to the agony and depravity of existence.
Sober to Death is subtitled “sickening sickening humans” which feels important. I guess in a way this links to the line from Beach Life-In-Death “We wanted to be humans, we said we hated humans”. It gives the impression that there’s a level of disgust towards human nature but also affection towards it, kind of like when you see a really stinky stray cat and are immediately filled with feelings of disgust and affection.